There comes a point in a man’s life when he realizes that single life, as good as it was, just isn’t going to cut it here on out. Watching your childhood friends and college buddies go down, one-by-one to marriage or to long-term, committed relationships can leave even the strongest of singledom man soldiers reeling in the wake of loneliness and boredom.
When you have no one to hang out with anymore on the weekends, or New Year’s Eve parties turn out to be a room full of nothing but couples, and you, the only single person still standing. At that point you start to think, ‘Maybe I need to find a girlfriend and move on like everyone else.’
Note that you aren’t losing your “cool card” by going down this path. It is an inevitable part of life that most, if not all, men will experience. And finding the right girl will indeed change your life for the better.
So if you’re sick of trying to beg your old friends to hang out with you and don’t understand the concept of reserving their time months in advance, then it might be time for you to find yourself a girlfriend. Let me show you the ways…
Get Off Your Ass and Get Out There!
Let’s face it, if you do not start exploring this fabulous world and start taking risks, nothing will change. The initial step in finding a special lady is putting yourself out there and making yourself available. Don’t be afraid of failure!
It doesn’t matter if you do it online (e.g. Match.com, OkCupid) or in public (e.g. clubs, bars, any place but Burger King), you’ve got to hang where the kind of lady you’re looking for hangs.
Love music? Hit up the neighborhood club and look for the lady with a smile reserved for you.
Passionate about hang gliding? Become a member of the local hang gliders club (should there be such a thing) and scope out daredevil chicks.
The point is, find something you like to do and join others who enjoy the same. If you should find an attractive girl there, you already have one step in the door by sharing the same interest. This makes conversation sooooo easy for you. And even if you don’t find the love of your life there, at least you are meeting others and creating more social connections, which means more opportunities to meet more girls. Following me so far?
I’m Meeting Girls. What Do I Do Now?
As soon as you’ve chosen your place, actual or virtual, it’s time for you to put your very best foot forward. That doesn’t mean throwing out clichéd chat-up lines and fronting as if you’re some sort of Don Juan. This means being yourself and being confident. No woman will be interested in you until you first believe in yourself. This is what’s known as self-belief.
Seriously, don’t underestimate the power of self-confidence! Women absolutely love a confident guy. Just understand there is a difference between confidence and cocky. Don’t overdo it.
Once you have this understanding in yourself that you’re a fantastic catch, you are halfway to being caught – you just need to let them come to you. Perhaps you’ve got a good joke, let it out. Perhaps you’ve got dance moves on par with MJ, bust out the Moonwalk already.
Do what works for you and you’re bound to find the interest of a woman who, primarily, loves you for you, a vital characteristic of any potential girlfriend and relationship. Once you’ve caught her eye, the next thing is keeping her curious.
Find a Balance Between Playing Hard to Get and Interest
Once you’ve got her attention without creepily turning up at her work every day or getting a plane to fly a huge banner over her house. Good work! Now’s the hard part. When you have the fondness of a woman’s attention, you have to go in for the kill quickly. Get the job done, so to speak.
You’ll want to create a connection with her well before she becomes uninterested. It is tricky. You need to demonstrate to her you’re into her without appearing like she’s on your mind 24/7. Be cool, but show her you’re actually attracted to her and her life. If she goes on about her semi-professional dancing career for half an hour, suck it up and look like you’re having fun. Skirt the fine line between playing hard to get and interest.
This is the time you need to show her just how much you want her – be creative. Don’t suddenly say “So, shall we be like boyfriend and girlfriend?” Demonstrate to her you want it by flirting and holding hands, by going to restaurants she likes, by amazing her with roses, etc. Simply do it all without being pushy or coming off like you’ve never dated before (I’m sure that’s not the case, though?)
You need to be the man that all women want, but try not to reveal all of your tricks straight away. If you can somehow create a middle ground in between James Bond (super cool, international spy) and any old John Cusack role (down-to-earth, adorable), you’ve sorted it made. Women don’t desire mega-macho dudes, but they also don’t want ultra-cute and fluffy man-boys either.
Maintain interest each day and she’ll transform from a girl you’re merely “seeing” to a genuine girlfriend. But there’s more…
How to Go From Dating to Girlfriend
The sex is out of this world. The pillow talk is equally exhilarating and you’re both having fun. After a number of great dates and you decide you really want to keep the girl, it is time to take it to another level. You’re set, right? Nope. Your hard work is far from finished. In order to cross the bridge from “this guy I’m seeing” to “my dreamy boyfriend”, you need to step up your game. She’s got to see you as someone worth sticking with.
The key is to not be keen, however, not to be too cool also. You might think to wait 12 hours to reply to her “Hey, what’s up : )” text is playing hard to get, but she will see past your game. Playing hard to get will leave her desiring more, but genuine lack of value will get you back to square one (and possibly in worse shape than when you began if she starts posting on Facebook and Twitter with remarks about how much of an idiot you are.)
Being good in the sack is only going to get you so far; now you’ve got to do good for her in a number of ways. Take things up a level. Delay Netflix and chill sessions and take her to one of the best eateries in the city. Take her to a concert of her favorite artist, even if it requires sitting through several hours of Celine Dion.
Typical guys do average things. Do you only want to be a typical guy? No, you wish to be a champion and make her forget Ryan Gosling ever existed. Be exceptional and then a girlfriend you’ll have.
There’s no clear-cut path to getting a girlfriend, as no two girls are the same. The absolute main takeaways you NEED TO KNOW from this article are these 5 points…
- Make yourself available for love. Don’t be so nit picky and give girls an opportunity.
- Find a balance between cheesy, overly smothering love and cocky guy who don’t give a damn.
- Be original, outgoing and an action taker. Don’t be an average dude with no ambitions or goals who never get’s anything done.
- Listen more than you talk. Trust me on this.
- You have to be confident. You can suck at everything, just pretend otherwise.
Now you have all the tools you need to go from old school bachelor to happily in love and living life with the best girl fit for you. Good luck!